I can't
by BCat13
Summary: Oneshot, Klaus/Oc. Suicide and depressive toughts. Reader discretion is advised. She had enough. She had enough... of not being enough. For him. And yet, she desesperatly wished to be in his arms, even if she had to die in order to be able to. Anyway, she was going to die anyway... he broke her, and she can't be repared.


I can't...

She was running, and running, never stopping. Tears blinded her vision as she ran without a real destination in mind. After all, her mind was broken, so why could it have a destination. All her dreams, hopes and... dare she says, _belief_, had been broken. But she knew that would happen. After all, she wasn't perfect Caroline Forbes or mysterious Hayley whats-her-name.

She was just plain, old Amy Lightwood.

Why would _he_ wants _her_, when he has _them_?

That was why she was running. A heavy sob broke throught her chest, sobs she deseperetly wanted to let out. But she was still too near. Too near of them. Of the three of them. They would hear her. She couldn't let them know. This love triangle was bad enough without her help, now she had to fall for the main reason, the _cause _of all of this. And he... he just didn't care. After all she was nothing but a mere Shape-shifter. One of the last of her kind. She was the first to accept him, the first to ever see him.

And when he asked her help... she was always there. Because... that is what soul-mates are for. But she was foolish. She believed. She believed really hard that maybe... just maybe... he would know. He would notice the pull. But he has lived for over a thousand years, seen a thousand of women. He must just have ignored it, if he ever felt it at all. After all the bond wasn't completed, she never offered her all to him. Because he never anted her.

She wasn't good enough.

After all, she is plain in comparision. Even _she_ knows that...

Another weak sob escaped, and finally, her body at it's limite, she collapsed, at the edge of the woods. Of her woods. She could hear the member of her 'pack' shuffeling around. She smiled. Annika was doing a good job keeping them safe. Maybe now... she could rest a little, after all, her best-friend knew how to take care of the pack as good as her. She sobbed silently to herself, for what she wants, for what she lost. But even if she had told him, he can barely belive that... that that _mutt_ carries his child. So he wouldn't have believed her. This belief had been lost for thousands and thousands of year, only remembered by the forgotten. And yet, she believed, she hoped, she was ready to give him all.

She believed him.

She trusted him.

Because he understood her better then anyone, better even then her best-friend herself. He knew what it was like to be unloved, to long for aknowledgement. He helped her as she helped him. But she wasn't enough. Once again, she wasn't enough for him. For anyone. She never was.

Annika have got the good life. So does everyone else in her pack. Not one felt the lost of the previous leaders. No one but her felt the lose of her parents. Because everyone thinks that both them and her, are crazy. Isn't that what they call her at school? Crazy Amy, Loony Amy, Freaky Amy...

Just because she can see insode people.

Just because she can understand them just by looking at them.

And now, she sees in her mind again and again the kiss he shared with Caroline, the drawings he made of her, the look he has on his face when he looks at Caroline. At Perfect Caroline. And it kills her. Slowly, ever so slowly. Darkness slips in her mind, dark toughts she shouldn't be having. The witch noticed that too. Her aura became less and less powerful, as her heart broke more and more. Annika had the powerfullest aura now. The pack members don't even respect her anymore. They don't care. Insults started to slip here and there too.

She let out a shaky sob, more quickly fallowed. But no one came. She knew why. Her best-friend was getting ready to take her position, to fight her to the death. She couldn't fight Annika. She couldn't harm her. Her best-friend. The puppy she took in when she needed a home and a friend more then anything. But what did it matter? After she loses her pack, she will have nothing.

The man she loves is bounded to two other womens.

Her friends are getting ready to kill her.

She had nothing,

nothing...

But emptyness.

And pain.

She finally snapped, and laughed. The kind of laugh that shows you snapped. Her nail became claws as she brought them to her face, scratching down and tearing appart the skin that _he_ touched. She couldn't bear it. It felt itchy, and heavy. Tears fell on the fresh wounds that weren't healing. She didn't want them to. So they wouldn't. She tought of the blood he gave her. Before he kissed her. Her stomach churned as she bent over and threw up whatever was in her stomach. Her body was rejecting help. Was rejecting _him_, just like he rejected her, without his knowledge. Pain shot trought her lungs, and as she threw up and caughed, blood was comming out. But she just smiled.

Somewhere nearby, hidden in the shadows of the buildings, was a witch, looking at the shape-shifter. She was frozen in shock at the sight before her. Never had she seen Amy this weak. She always was the strong one. And yet... what was before her was only the shadow of her friend. Her aura was lost, no more ordering power or respect, and not in the way it did at school. No, even then it ordered a little bit of respect. Now it was just... gone. Lost, in the darkness of her mind. Words came out to the witch's ears. Crazy mumbling the forever 18 women was saying without her will.

"I'm nothing... he will never... stupid of me..." she said again, and again, and again.

The witch hesitated, before stepping foward. The lonely sobs reverbrating, with a demand behind it. A demand of help, a demand of hope... a demand of love. As soon as she stepped out of the shadow, Amy's head snapped to her. Bonnie flinched at the sight of her, for the damages she had done herself were worse then she first tought.

Rushing down from under her eyes to her jawline were the not healing, bloddy scratches she offered herself. Puck was sticking her hair together, but the rain that had started to fall cleaned that away. Her eyes were red and swollen, obviously from crying. Bonnie didn't know what was happening, but she knew it had a link to _he_, knowing that the _he _was probably Klaus. She wasn't blind after all. She has seen the way Amy looks at him, begging for his attention while pushing him towards the two womens that were monopolizing him. Poor little thing was only a victime of the triangle.

"Amy...?" she asked carefully.

"I'm done, Bonnie. Done! I HAVE NOTHING LEFT! NOTHING!" she cried. "He broke my heart... have you ever heard of mates, Bonnie? Soul-mates? Those close enough to the spirits has the power to remember what has been forgotten. One would do anything for the other, no matter what. That's what I did. And it hurts, it hurts so bad. To see him kiss them, to see him... be a father. A future father. It hurts, so, so bad, I wish Damon had ripped my heart out instead of having to feel this. Because my pack is turning against me, planning to kill me. Because of what he did to me!" she yelled, kneeling and rocking, he head between her hands pulling hard on her hair. "It's all his fault..."

"Amy, please calm down..." She begged.

"Bonnie... I can't... I can't...!"

In a blink of an eye, she had shifted into a white tiger. Bloody face and piercing blue eyes staring back at the witch. She heard her friends' heart skip a beat before beating at an unbearable speed. But she was her prey. So she jumped over the stunned witch, and took of.

She didn't want the pain anymore,

but she wanted him to be the last thing she saw,

even if he was her murderer.

With a almighty roar, she took a last, finale look at her home, before running toward the football field. Where he was. Where he still is, for what she can see. Kissing Perfect Caroline. He dea heart panged, as she heard Bonni calling for her, begging her to stop. His head snapped to her, his iy blue eyes eyeing carefully as he placed Caroline behind him.

He didn't know she could shift into other animals.

She never told him.

With a sad, tigger-ish grin, she looked at him, her tears impossible to see because of the rain. And then, she bowed down and jumped, straight toward him, and as exected, he pierced her lung. She suddently felt like she was chocking, still hanging on his arm. She took a good look of his face and lifted a heavy paw, slowly shifting as she lost the life in her. His eyes widenned in realization as she softly placed her shaky hand on his rumble-full jaw.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled and her let her fall down in his arms.

"Amy? Amy!" he called for her.

Bonnie arrived, just to notice she was too late and collapses. "No... no!"

"Amy? Oh my god..." Caroline said, backing off.

The dieing girl sighed. He was holding her. He was finally, holding her. A small smile tugged her lips, turning in a frown when she saw him bit his wrist and come to offer it to her, eyes full of worry.

"Come on love, you'll be fine." he said. Altought... it sounded begging.

"I won't heal... if I don't want to..." she said breathlessly, holding his wrist and mearly kissing it. "I'm sorry... you had to... kill me..." she laughed. "I just- I can't... I can't..."

"Don't say that love, you have to heal yourself." Klaus pleaded, panic settling in.

Her eye felt heavy, so heavy. The spirits are spining round and around her head, calling her name, beconning her to let go. But not yet. She wanted the moment to last a tad bit longer.

"When... I'm gone... don't let it get you. Ask... for Bonnie... to break it. You can't... you are a father now... And you have Caroline... You can't..."

"I can't what? Love?" he said, his voice wavering the slightest. "Come on love, d-don't be selfish. You've got to heal yourself, to let me help you." she smiled and let him rise his wrist to her mouth. "There, come on love."

She shook her head, and kissed it. "I... can't... Klaus..." she sobbed throught her smiled.

He looked at her, eyes widdened in horror, as she smiled up at him. A smile that used to brighten his day. Why did it look so finale? Didn't she want to live, if not for her pack for her best-friend? He voiced his tought, to which she only laughed breathlessly. He eyes were closing more and more.

"I am no... leader anymore... Death was what... awaited me. I didn't... want Annika... to have that on ... her mind..." she breathed heavely now. "And I'm... sorry I put that... on... yours, Klaus. Please... be... happy... because, I... I can't." were her last breath.

With the last of her strenght, she snuggled closer to him. His hand tightenned around her, as if by clinging to her, would maintain her alive. Silent tears were falling down his checks, and he shook her a little. She barelly flustered her eyelids, thick lashes brushing on her bloody checks.

"Amy? Amy?!" he asked.

Caroline had fallen on the ground, unable to hold herself. She had seen Amy's baby blue eyes look at her as she closed them. Klaus couldn't care less right now however. In the back of his mind, the weak whisper of Amy's voice resonned.

_I can't keep being in love with you,_

_If it hurts me so much..._


End file.
